The Gluten Free Bend

Or why I am not a fan of spring break.

Fear not, dear readers. I am not a new proponent of the gluten free lifestyle. My mother is, no matter how her attachment to bread wavers. So, in an act of helping her help herself, my sister and I threw out all of the bread/wheat-food-stuffs in our home. We have been going without for 2 weeks now and it has been a long two weeks.
So, I've taken to research and experimentation to make the switch painless. Well, as painless as going cold-turkey can be... My new concoction is a pan of the thickest brownies ever. They are so darn chocolaty they made my ultra-hormonal fourteen year old sister's head spin. Here they are, for all to enjoy!

Hormonal-Cure Brownies
(recipe - adapted - courtesy of Free Range Cookies)

3 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1/2 cup oil
1 cup sugar (raw, coconut, or evap. cane juice)
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup almond meal/flour, packed
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp espresso powder
1/4 tsp baking powder

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line/oil/flour-oil an 8x8 baking pan.
2. In a medium bowl, combine chocolate, sugar, eggs, oil, and vanilla extract. Be careful: it might seize on you!
3. Add almond meal, cocoa powder, salt, espresso powder, and baking powder. Combine thoroughly. AT this point, if you like nuts or extra chocolate chips in your brownies, you may add them.
4. Spread batter into pan and bake for 30 minutes. Cool completely before cutting (keeps the edges nice).

Tell me internet, what do you do on Spring Breaks?
Me: anything that keeps me from going bonkers while having very limited time outside the house (can you tell that little bit bothers the hell out of me?)

All warmth, especially to those still with snow.
CLE

I. Experimentation

[This is part 1 in a tripartite memoir-style piece I wrote for English class. There are recipes included!]

One of the many joys in cooking is experimentation. It is hard to achieve such status as "experimenter" - jumping through the hoops of learning craft and flavor combinations and methodology and the best of the best - but my father has. He's a closet foodie; he can’t resist the new, the interesting, or the different but . My sister and I are not picky eaters, not by virtue of being “good kids”, but because my father would dare us to consume all matter of “squiggly bits” and scary sounding dishes, like keftedes and caciao e pepe (meatballs and pasta, respectively).

Like father like eldest daughter, but I am marginally more open about the passion-borderline-obsession. My sister likes baking, which is my mother's mastery, but I have taken to my dad's style. Mostly because I can stand to look at, let alone touch, raw meat. Mum can't get over that - sometimes I'll pull a groping maneuver on a piece of beef, just too hear the reaction I liken to cats vomiting underneath drapes.

There's a short list of things I am good at making: bread, mozzarella cheese, hummus (by American standards; I know people who say otherwise), tortillas, and several kinds of alcohol. My summer science project was figuring out the science behind brewing beer, which was then related to yeast-air production in bread. It’s all very clinical sounding, but not relevant beyond "I did it because I could".

The newest fad in our kitchen is Limóncello. It is a sweet Italian liqueur made by soaking lemon peel in vodka for three days to create alcoholic cordial, then mixing it with simple syrup. I've never had a taste, but the smell is enough to go by. The drink we serve in shot glasses (traditionally doled out in miniscule flutes by people classier than us) is meant to be glacially cold. You do not let it linger in your glass. If you do, you run the fine line of enjoying melted lemon sorbet with a jet-fuel kick, or the liquefied remains of lemon gummy bears.

Dad and I joke that you could sneak this stuff anywhere. It is the exact color of Lemon Pledge wood cleaner, and maintains that integrity unless you open the bottle. Our clear jars have a permanent home in the depths of the outdoor freezer. When we got the unprecedented temperatures this winter, we kept a few bottles in the snow bank that rose up to the window by the dining room. It's earned the affectionate moniker "yellow snow" from my sister.

It is a late spring to summer drink that would offend anything outside of white-fleshed animal friends. Chicken, shrimp, crab, all kinds of fish, and (oddly enough) paper thin slices of beef. I don’t claim any dietary restrictions – vega-whatzit or pesce-whozit – but I definitely favor mild, versatile chicken over all else. My dad taught me how to debone and butterfly a chicken when I was ten. We looked ridiculous: the pair of us in our Sunday best (Dad had some good sense to make me wear an apron); a tiny girl with a thick French braid on a step-stool, knife poised in Julia Child’s “confront the bird” stance. I see my mother at the kitchen table, balancing her check book and fooling herself into thinking she can ignore the presence of fleshy-pink, semi-firm chicken meat.

My dad spent many irritable hours in high school choir, thus knowing many obscure pieces from musicals long since dead. Occasionally, he becomes the Modern Major General chasing the Pirates of Penzance, knowing everything about animals, vegetables, and minerals. My mother sticks solely to the vegetables.

Catalan Chickpeas with Tomatoes and Almonds

2 (14oz/400g) cans chickpeas, drained

1/4 cup (60ml) extra-virgin olive oil

1 large onion, peeled and grated or finely minced

1 can (14oz/400g) plum tomatoes in juice, preferably Italian, drained and chopped

pinch sugar

pinch saffron threads

3 large cloves garlic, peeled and coarsely chopped

1/3 cup (50g) lightly toasted almonds

small handful flat-leaf parsley, chopped

1 1/2 cups (325ml) chicken or vegetable stock

salt

juice of 1/2 lemon, or to taste

1.  Try the chickpeas - if they're not completely soft to the bite (and canned ones rarely are), bring them to a boil in lightly-salted water and cook them until they are, usually about 10-20 minutes. Drain. 
2. In a heavy frying pan, heat the oil over medium-low heat and sauté the onion until it is golden brown and very soft, about 25 minutes. Add the chopped tomatoes and sugar, letting them fry until they melt into the onions and form a paste, about another 10-15 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat.
3. In a large mortar or food processor, combine the saffron, garlic, almonds and parsley and pound (or pulse) to a thick paste. Add a little water if necessary to keep things moving. Add the paste to the onion mixture along with the stock and the chickpeas. 
4. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and simmer until the liquid has reduced to a thick sauce, about 10-15 minutes. Season with salt and lemon juice to taste. Serve hot or at room temperature; you'll find that this dish keeps developing in flavor the longer it sits.

Character Questionnaire of Doom

Google Doodle for Charles Dickens' 150th birthday

Okay, it isn't all that intimidating - really. I promise.
Being someone who writes mostly fiction, visualizing a character in your head can be very easy or very hard. It honestly is a multi-variable equation, with factors like how much stress one is under and school work and how much sleep one's gotten in the past week... so on and so forth. When I get in a pinch, I like to use character "checklists" and such to help. So, I wrote an 7 section questionnaire of the most vital questions in my mind.
Granted, this isn't everyone's priority list. If you've hit writer's block of any sort, this might be a nice exercise to do as you pass the time. Maybe it will help and idea strike. I don't know. If you have any questions that you think should be added, post them in the comments and I'll check them out!

CLE

I. Body & Appearance

1. Describe character's height and build - like "heavyset", "short", "rangy".
2. How old are they?
3. Describe their posture - do they carry themselves well or do they slouch
4. How is their health? Any illnesses or conditions? Physical or mental disabilities?
5. How do they move (walking, running, dancing, whatever)?
6. How attractive is this character physically? How do they perceive themselves?
7. Describe their complexion - skin color and texture.
8. Describe hair texture, color, style, &c.
9. What color are their eyes (be specific/accurate)?
10. Any other noteworthy features? Scars, tattoos, beauty marks, dimples, &c...
11. What are their chief tension centers?
12. What is their wardrobe like?
13. Do their clothes fit well?
14. Do they dress the same for their job as they do in their spare time? How does it change?

II. Speech

1. What does their voice sound like?
2. How do they speak? Do words flow easily or do they hesitate?
3. Any distinct accent or dialect? Pronunciation quirks or verbal tics?
4. How many languages do they speak? Include fluency levels.
5. Do they languages switch in certain situations? Which ones?
6. Are they a good impromptu speaker or are they more thoughtful?
7. Eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?

III. Mental & Emotional

1. How intelligent are they? Book smart or street smart?
2. Do they think on their feet or do they deliberate?
3. Describe their thought process. Is it logical or intuitive? Idealistic or practical?
4. What kind of education have they had?
5. What are their areas of expertise? Is their anything they want to learn more about?
6. Easy one: Introvert or Extrovert? (Writing their personality acronym works too!)
7. Describe their temperament: even or moody?
8. How do they respond to new people and situations?
9. How do they react?
10. Fight or flight?
11. Describe their sense of humor: jokes, puns, gallows humor, pranks, &c...
12. Diagnosed mental disorders: how do they deal?
13. What moments have defined them as a person?
14. What do they fear?
15. What are their hopes/aspirations?
16. What is something they don't want anyone to know?

IV. Relationships

1. Describe their relationship with their parents.
2. Do they have siblings? Describe the relationships with them.
3. Which blood relatives are they close to? Is their anyone they can't stand?
4. Any unrelated people that they consider family?
5. Who is their best friend? How did they meet?
6. Any other close friends? Describe them
7. Do they make friends easily or not?
8. Which is more important: friends or family?
9. Are they single, married, divorced, widowed? Have they been married more than once?
10. Are they in a romantic relationship with someone who is not their significant other?
11. First crush? Latest crush?
12. What do they want in a partner?
13. Do they children? grandchildren? How well do they relate to them? Do they want any?
14. Any rivals or enemies?
15. Sexual orientation? Where do they fall on the Kinsey Scale?
16. How do they feel about sex in general? How important is it?
17. Turn-ons? Turn-offs? Bedroom habits?

V. Beliefs

1. What is their astrological sign? Do they fit the type?
2. Are they religious, spiritual, both or neither? How important is it to them?
3. Do they have moral/ethical codes? How did that start? Does it compromise and how?
4. How do they regard beliefs of others?
5. What prejudices do they hold? Are they irrational or have good reasons?

VI. Daily Life

1. Financial situation: rich, poor, in debt, comfortable?
2. What is their social status? How has it changed and affected them?
3. Where do they live? It is their castle? Do they share it?
4. What do they spend money on?
5. What do they do for a living? Are they any good?
6. Hobbies and interests: How do they spend their free time?
7. What are their eating/drinking habits?

VII.Associations & Favorites

    * This section is for what you associate with a character, what they associate with the topic, or simply the character's favorite. Section totally up for interpretation.

1. Color?
2. Smell?
3. Time of day?
4. Season?
5. Book?
6. Music?
7. Place?
8. Substance?
9. Plant?
10. Animal?